How do you teach a toddler or preschooler to count?

Saying the numbers comes before knowing what they mean

To see what your child knows, ask for a number of things, such as "Can you give me three blocks?" If they hand you three, they know what "three" means. A child who says the numbers to ten may not know that yet.

In one study of children aged nearly 3 to just over 4, almost all said the numbers to ten, and about half still couldn't hand over five toys when asked. If this sounds like your child, it's common at this age.

Children learn what "one" means first, then over months "two", then "three", and sometimes "four". Then they work out that counting tells how many. Most get there between about 3½ and 4½, and some later.

Start with 1, 2 and 3

Count groups of 1, 2 or 3 things, set out in a line. It's fine if your child knows "three" without counting. Young children see small numbers at a glance, up to about three at first, and that seems to be how they learn the first few number words.

Once 1 to 3 are easy, count groups of 4 to 10 too. To count a scattered group, line the things up, or move each one aside as you count it.

Touch each one, then say the total

Help your child touch, point to or move each thing as they say its number. Then say the total, before or after the count, whichever comes naturally. "One, two, three. Three frogs!" Children who touch or point as they count tend to count more accurately.

This is how the Count game plays in Puddlebright

Three in a row

Seven scattered

When your child counts one thing twice, skips one, or says the numbers out of order, count along with them, touching each thing, instead of correcting them. These mistakes are normal at 2 and 3. If you ask "how many?" and they count again, they may hear the question as a hint that they got it wrong.

Books and board games

Pick counting books with a story, such as a rabbit finding enough treats for his friends. For a board game, use a straight track numbered 1 to 10, and say each number as you move the piece. In US government preschool classrooms, 4- and 5-year-olds who played a game like that got better at numbers after four short sessions, about an hour in all.

What to expect at each age

Use the table as a rough guide. The preschool rows are goals for US government preschools, and plenty of children reach them later. The CDC row is what at least three in four children do by 5. The CDC's lists for 3 and 4 have no counting item at all.

Common questions

How long, and how often?

A few minutes at a time, during things you already do, such as snacks and stairs. Stop while it's still fun. No study tests the best amount, but the board game above took four short sessions.

What if they won't, or get bored?

Stop and try another day. Next time, give them a reason to count, such as setting out a spoon for everyone at the table.

My 4-year-old skips numbers, like 13 or 15. Is that a problem?

A 4-year-old who counts to 20 and skips a few teens is on the way to the preschool goal. That goal is to count aloud "to at least 20 by ones" by 5. The CDC's milestone at 5 is "counts to 10".

When should I ask someone?

If you're worried, talk to your pediatrician or your child's preschool teacher.

Where Puddlebright fits

I make Puddlebright, and its Count game plays like the frogs above. Pick "Up to 3" for a few critters in a row, or "Up to 10" for 4 to 10 scattered about. It shows each total as a number but doesn't say it, so you say it with your child. No study has tested the game, so count real things together too.